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Thursday, September 26, 2013

Jake Furie Lapin:UnFair Punishment: An Early BDSM Lesson

In the Irish-Italian neighborhood where I grew up, the predominant religion was Catholicism. Because both my parents worked, they had the money to send me to a private Catholic school in town. It was grueling.

Most Catholics don’t realize that Catholicism stems from Orthodox Christianity. The two religions are very close to each other, with similar masses and communion services. Some of the nuns were very accepting of my religion but others challenged my loyalty to my religion many times. Although I was given positions of authority and responsibility within the school, such as collecting lunch money, keeping head count, being a crossing guard, etc. the nuns really challenged and criticized my beliefs. Often, as part of their antagonism, they would punish me for no real reason at all.

One nun in particular, Sister Marie, would come find me when I was working on an essay, or math, or whatever. She would sneak up behind me with one of those old-style long wooden metal-edged rulers, and without warning, would come and hit me in the hand. The reason she gave was always ridiculous, such as: I was holding my pencil wrong, or not sitting up straight, or not doing something the proper way. I still have some of those scars from that ruler on my hands. I also have many other scars from playing hockey in school and punching people in the mouth during typical hockey fights, but a good chunk of the scars are from Sister Marie. Luckily, my hands are tan enough that they aren't too visible, but those scars are there.


Sister Marie kept pushing me and pushing me. I remember one day, when I was about 13, it was confession time in school and she asked me if I needed to go to confession. I said no, and she challenged me, saying “Are you sure? It’s been a whole month. You must have sinned at some point.” I said, “No, I really can’t think of anything. I don’t know if I did anything…I've been pretty good.” This was the truth; I was really a well-behaved guy when I was younger. She said, “ You have to think of something”. With that, she forced me to get on my knees in front of this huge cross that was in one of the hallways. She told me to kneel there and think of something, and then ask for God’s forgiveness. I knelt there and I was thinking, and thinking; she kept yelling at me, “Come on! Think of something! THINK OF SOMETHING!”

 I couldn't think of anything, and eventually the absurdity of the situation struck me and I couldn't hold in my laughter any longer.

 “This is not a joke!” screeched Sister Marie, and she summoned some of the other nuns to join in. Together, one or two of her aged withered cronies and Sister Marie pushed my head down to the ground in front of the cross and held me there.

 Sister Marie pulled the back of my pants down. My naked ass was fully exposed, and protruding helplessly as my face was pressed into the ground. I felt vulnerable, exposed, and strangely excited. Sister Marie always carried a cane with her, and I heard it swish against her hand, making a slapping noise. She leaned forward, next to my face, and said, very forcefully: “You’re a bad, bad, boy, Mr. Lapin! And you WILL be punished! You WILL learn your lesson!” She paused for just a moment and I heard the slap of the cane against her hand again. I clenched my cheeks, because I knew what was coming. The first stroke was a complete shock. For just a second I was numb, but then I felt the sting of it spread across my bottom, as it drew the blood to the surface of my soft, exposed skin. I felt a stinging, hot sensation. A few times she would slap my ass, and massage my whole cheek, as to circulate the blood. It hurt like hell, but it also sent warmth through my whole body, and somehow it also aroused me greatly. In spite of myself, I felt my cock start to stiffen and then become rock-solid. I’ll never know if Sister Marie noticed, but maybe she did. She struck me with the cane again. This time the heat was even more noticeable. I was trying to wrap my head around the fact that I was getting a major erection. I just hung my head in shame, and hoped that all the nuns around me couldn't see my thick penis pressing upwards into my stomach. Or maybe I wanted them to see my huge manhood.

Sister Marie gave me 20 or 30 strokes with the cane, and made a few comments about how my suffering would make me appreciate Jesus’s suffering on the cross, and how my pain would make me a better person, etc. At one point the pain was pretty bad and I said, “I don’t know why you are doing this to me!” Sister Marie replied, “Because you need to be forgiven.” I screamed, “For what? For what?”, but she gave me no answer. I wasn't sure if I was screaming in actual pain, or just as a way to hold my orgasm at bay. 

Afterwards, the nuns finally left me alone. I could barely walk, but I remember going to the men’s room, touching myself and finally ejaculating, HARD. I was alone, and hated the feeling of self-pleasuring myself.

 I attended Catholic school from kindergarten through 12th grade, and my torture at the hands of Sister Marie was constant throughout that time. Once I was walking in the hallway and she passed me and reached out and punched me in the gut, for no reason. This happened often when nobody else was around, that Sister Marie would pinch or hit or kick me. After the confession incident, the pain she inflicted would cause that strange arousal again, and would lead to masturbation. I began to understand the link between pleasure and pain in a profound way.

Sister Marie would threaten me as well, telling me that if I told anyone, she would just call my parents in and tell them that I was lying and making up stories. Of course, because she was a nun, they would believe her, or at least that’s what she wanted me to think. She was probably right, too. My parents were very strict and very religious; they would have been unlikely to take my word over that of a priest or nun. That knowledge gave me more pain than the physical torture from Sister Marie.

As I enter into the BDSM lifestyle, and I administer my punishments and spankings, I always ensure that these are for things that my subs did willfully, transgressions that we mutually agreed that they wouldn't do and I make them tell me why they are being punished. My subs always have to earn their spankings and punishments. I never punish for things that are beyond their control, e.g. if they are late because they were in an accident, or something else came up that made it impossible for them to complete the task at hand. I would never be upset for those things, or punish them in the same merciless way that Sister Marie punished me. I would always make sure to hold and caress them, and make sure they know that I share in their pain and pleasure, and make sure we mutually cum afterward. I only punish my subs when they willfully cross my wishes or instructions. In this way, Sister Marie did teach me a very valuable lesson in BDSM: it’s never fair to punish for events that are beyond a sub’s control.

As a Dom, I always administer my punishments with fairness and love. Check in next week to read about another one of my life experiences along the journey to becoming a successful Dom.

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16 comments:

  1. I also went to catholic school from kindergarten until the middle of the 1st grade. Sister Patricia, who was my teacher in 1st grade, loved to administer punishment to me although not as bad as Jake painfully endured. She used to hit me for the same things: not sitting up straight, holding my pencil wrong and not starting on the left side of the page of the margin etc. She'd hit her ruler on my desk and thankfully not on me but she would smack me hard on the head though and that was painful too. My parents never hit me so it was a shock to me. I think the only time she was ever nice to me and didn't hit me was when it was my birthday and I brought in cupcakes for the class. On that day she was sickening sweet to me. It didn't last too long because she was back to her mean and spitefulness the very next day. One night I was sitting at the kitchen table with my dad doing my homework, when he scratched his head. I flinched so badly, I feel off the chair and ducked my hands over my head, crying and saying "please don't hit me like Sister Patricia does". That's when my parents found out and immediately pulled me out of the school mid-year and put me into public school. I never understood why nuns hit their students. It angers me that they feel this type of painful punishment will make you learn. I've read about BDSM and I come to the same conclusion, how can you get past the pain and find it pleasurable?

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  2. I can't even imagine the affects Sister Marie's actions had on Jake. I have to question if she hadn't chose that for of punishment would he have chose the BDSM lifestyle, would his inner Dom have surfaced anyway?

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  3. This all sounds eerily familiar, right down to the eroticised response.

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  4. I've always heard that there is a fine line between pain and pleasure but have never experienced it myself. It is hard to say if Sister Marie's actions helped or hindered Jakes' development into adulthood and even the BDSM lifestyle, but as a young person (only 13) I can imagine that it did leave lasting scars and maybe even trust issues with older females. I do hope that as a Dom he follows through as he has stated with fairness and love and not out of spite.
    ~HMK ;o)

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  5. I went to an all girls Catholic school. I remember the nuns making us kneel on the floor to make sure our skirts touched ground. That's how they would make sure it wasn't too short. LOL!

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  6. This right here defined and shaped a young man into who he would become. This proves that one moment or series of repeated moments can change you into the person you are to become. I am not saying it as a bad thing either. Sometimes we take negative actions and turn them into postive life choices. To me he turned it into something positive. He may need to play along the line of pleasure and pain but he is also respectful with the way he handles giving out punishments and pain. You take what you are given, learn from it, and chose how it will affect and define you.

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  7. If there is one thing I learned from reading this story is to teach your children to have a voice.I feel saddened to know a young boy was victimized by such brutal punishments and lives with the emotional and physical scars today.Thats child abuse. As for having an effect on choosing a bdsm lifestyle, I dont know. I like aspects of bdsm and Ive never been spanked as a child. As a loving Dom, you say you punish your subs for not following instruction or your wishes ..hmm sounds similar as not following sister maries orders to go to confession. In a twisted way maybe she did influence you to become the Dom you are today. Thank you for sharing. Twitter handle @WannaBeRockStar

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  8. I am not catholic nor did I ever attend a catholic school but what the nun(s) did to you was inexcusable. I hope God had mercy on her and her soul because you just do not do that to a child. God Bless you!! Jackie

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  9. I can't believe how upset and disturbed I am by Sister Marie. I think she was taking out her own personal punishment maybe because she felt she had to pick on someone in order to believe she was saving their soul, or maybe later in Jake's life she found herself attracted to him and punished him for her own desires. She should have been shunned and kicked out of the church. What she did was physical and emotional abuse. I can totally understand that abuse but won't go into detail here. Becoming aroused at the punishment was just a bodies response to attention. Kids crave attention they don't care if it is good or bad attention is key. Thank you for sharing this personal story.

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  10. I am AT a loss of words for once
    What sister Marie did is just not right in my eyes it is unacceptable.
    As for your reaction to it I cant explain it every body reacts in a different way
    Thank you for sharing this story with us Jake

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  11. I think sister Maria was a sadist to do this to a child. I also think that she had some hidden agenda and her own sexual pent up feelings got the better of her and her outlet unfortunately was a child.There are so many of these cases coming to light these days.

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  12. Unfortunately this is an example of why certain people should never be allowed to work in positions of authority, religious affiliations, human services.

    We do not know the background of Sister Marie...was she forced to be a nun. Did she sexually enjoy punishing children? Was she just a mean person...Not that it excuses her behavior.

    I applaud Jake for maintaining the knowledge that he had done nothing wrong in the face of taking the punishment. In the face of not being able to tell anyone and in the face of finding his own confusing reaction.

    In no way do I infer that this was not a difficult life changing experience. . .it is so important to share and process this type of experience.

    So that others may see themselves in it and realize they are not alone and are not "wrong", a "freak" for their feelings and experiences.

    Thank you for sharing this...

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  13. Thinking more about this and there are two other issues that Jake's experience highlights, in my opinion.

    First, the unauthorized use of physical punishment. This is happening still today in our school systems. It may have been more secretive and possibly supported years ago as well as in religious schools. . .regardless what right does a non parent have to severely punish any child?

    Second, the unrealistic expectations of nuns/priests to be asexual. I do think that there may be some people who are sexual. However to ask a human who has sexual urges to not have sexual urges is ludicrous.

    These are very important issues that are still ongoing today.

    People like Jake who are willing to tell the truth as it happened should be applauded for their honesty.

    Now it is up to society to in still change . . .

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  14. I'm really affected by this entry. What Sister Marie put Jake through (and for years!) is very upsetting for me. I agree with some of the prior comments that this was child abuse and a gross abuse of authority. However, at least Jake did learn lessons of compassion from those incidents and he was also able to find his way to an enthralling sexual preference, regardless of the injustices that were placed upon him.

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  15. I am only thankful that I never went to a Catholic school. It was hard enough being judged and ridiculed by peers. I can't even imagine the profound effect a superior would have had on me if I would've endured such treatment.

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  16. wow..it broke my heart to read this!!! What Sister Marie did was horrible, no child should have to endure this. I can only imagine how confused Jake must have felt!! Thank you for sharing.

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