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Monday, February 10, 2014

Kelli Lemberg: The Deflowering Part 2

Prom night finally arrived. I had never felt more beautiful or excited as I left the house. My dress was shimmery, blue, and off-the-shoulder, and I pinned matching flowers in my auburn ringlets. I paid more attention to my make-up than ever before, smoothing on shimmery blue shadow and pink lip gloss.

When Paul picked me up, though, he gave me a quick looking over, and then waved me into his car. Before we’d even gone a block, he handed me an open beer, while we were driving.

“Paul…I…won’t we get in trouble?” 

“Don’t worry about it, hun. Tonight we’re gonna party!”

I don’t remember all that much about the actual dance. I know that Paul and I did dance together, but what I remember most is the number of drinks that he brought me. There were chaperons there, but Paul had a big plastic bottle full of vodka that he’d snuck in, and he kept adding it to the punch. I had never really been drunk before, and it really snuck up on me. Before I could slow down, the room was spinning and I only remember snatches of the conversations I had with people.

Before I knew it, the night was over. I wasn't really aware of what was going on, but I remember that Paul came up to me and grabbed me around the waist from behind, nuzzling my neck.

“C’mon, babe…let’s go out to the car.”

My memory of what followed is blurry, even to this day. That night, while I was almost too drunk to stand, Paul took my virginity in the back of his Thunderbird. I remember a sharp stabbing pain, and that he was rough with me. I know now that his roughness was due to his own level of inexperience, not because of any malice.  It was almost date rape, but not quite, because I do remember petting heavily with Paul in the car and then him asking me, “Wanna do it?” I answered “yes”, although in retrospect I didn't really know what I was doing. Also, I genuinely liked Paul. He was handsome, popular, strong…all the qualities that appealed to me.

Afterwards, Paul drove me home, gave me a kiss goodnight, and left.

We ‘went steady’ after that. Sex with Paul was a huge disappointment to me, though. It didn't improve much after the first time. He would thrust into me a few times, roughly, then cum within a few minutes. It was very mechanical. All the dreams I’d had as a young girl about romance and tenderness began to disappear.

I would have broken things off with Paul sooner rather than later, but a few weeks after prom, I realized that I had missed my period. A test revealed that I was pregnant. When I told Paul he was white-faced with fury, but to his credit, he told me that he would support me and the baby if I decided to keep it.  I did want to keep the baby, but our parents put a lot of pressure on both of us NOT to get married and seek an abortion. We talked about it, and decided to keep the baby, as my parents were very strict religiously, but Paul's parents disowned him and me.  So six months after prom, we tied the knot in a little ceremony in front of the justice of the peace. Three months later, our first beautiful daughter, Kaitlyn, was born.

Those early years were rough; Paul and I both had to delay college in order to eek out a living. Paul worked nights as janitor and days as a line cook, as we tried to save money.  My parents helped me watch the baby, and help pay for me through college, as it would be obvious I would be the bread winner in our marriage. Eventually things did get better but I’m not sure that he ever really forgave me for getting pregnant.

And the sex? Nothing much ever changed there, either.

Learn more about Kelli and her experiences in the next blog…

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3 comments:

  1. I know what Kelli felt like in THE back of That car lost my virginity to when being drunk but consensual not a very good experience and he was also rough, and THE sex also didn't improve. To keep THE baby was a brave desicion for such young people but you did it, but it took both of you to make That baby so nobody is to blame for it maybe one day he Will see That
    Looking forward tonmolen blogs

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  2. Can't wait for the next part. It seems Kelli has a rather dull sex life. There are so many women that "settle" for a dull sex life because they don't know what real passion feels like. Love the story so far.

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  3. My heart sunk. Everything about that night that was wrong. A lifetime of being with the wrong person. The paths we end up on and the sex, just going through the motion. Waiting for more...love this story

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