Friday, November 1, 2013

Jake Furie Lapin:Realized and Unrealized Sexual Fantasies: Part 2

So…what is my unrealized fantasy? To answer this, I have to describe a little bit more about Jake’s journey through life.

There was a point when I was very unsure of myself, back in the days when I identified more as a sub than as the loving Dom I am today. I had a lot of insecurity and uncertainty about my physical appearance, and this bled over into the psychological side of things as well. In The Spice of Life,  I explain in detail how I was transformed in every area, from losing weight and becoming fit to developing my sexual prowess and transitioning from into life as loving Dom. But suffice it to say, I was not always bold, brave and confident as I am now.

I laid in the tub, to truly ponder, what is it that I really want? When it was me and "her", we talked about "our" fantasies, and 3 of them come to mind.  We talked about being blindfolded and tied, tracing her body with a piece of rough cold ice, from her arms, shoulders, neck, cheeks, mouth, her luscious lips, down her chin, neck, perky small breasts, nipples, sides, legs, to finally arrive to her clit...pause, then retrace the same path of the molten water with the tip of my tongue.  We talked about me sitting a bar, gazing into the lively crowd, drinking my red wine, and her finding me, brushing up against my crotch with her mini skirt and sitting on my lap, pretending to be picking me up for a hot date.  We talked about kissing and making out for hours, just laying there in my Hoboken studio condo, watching the electricity of the Manhattan skyline all night.  But that never happened.  It's Thursday night, our date night.  She works till 9:00 pm, and I obsessively stare at my phone, hoping to hear from her.

It's 9:15 pm, I get out of the tub, dry off, and just wear my Yankees PJ bottoms.  Barefoot and shirtless, I walk to make our dinner.  Porterhouse for two, grass fed, veges, and a baked potato, always making enough for company, as I was taught.  I pour our drink, Figenza vodka and organic cranberry juice..helps take my edge off, this is how 520 should have been.  They say it's hard to wait for something that may never happen, it's so so hard when it's everything you want.  They say to turn the page and start a new chapter in your life, to move on.  I don't want to. It's all words and great advice, just no one tells you how to do it. It's ironically funny, you work hard for years, you get the game you need, the body everyone wants, and not have the desire to share it but with only one.  I forego my happiness to see hers, that's how it ended, and that's what true love it all about.

It's 9:45 pm, I set the meal.  Pour my red wine, Malbec. I sit down, and stare into the skyline, and it's a text. {V} 520 . The door bell rings, and I walk over confused, and it's her, the hazel-eyed Vixen. She's dressed in her lacy top and skirt, and in her soft sexy voice, she asks if we can talk as she slowly scratches my bare ribs with her pointy red nails.  A sweat and shake earthquakes down and inside my body, and I calmly invite her in.  Over dinner, she tells me again how things are improved and better for her, and I tell her my usual lies, how I've moved on emotionally, how I am happy she is happy, and how I found a way to remain "just friends" in my heart.  She knows, but she also knows I won't admit it.  She excuses herself to go to my bathroom.  I'm trembling, and it seems like slow motion as she walks back to the table.  She reaches over and hands me her panties, and tells me tonight, we will be more than "just friends".

It's 2:00 am, and I suddenly wake up in my tub again, confused.  Body pruned, it was no dinner, no text, it was just a dream, another wasted night I could have went out but just consumed it with thoughts of her.


AUTHOR NAME  Jake Furie Lapin -- My Blogs

Jake's Goodreads Blog Link