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Friday, November 1, 2013

Jake Furie Lapin:Realized and Unrealized Sexual Fantasies: Part 2

So…what is my unrealized fantasy? To answer this, I have to describe a little bit more about Jake’s journey through life.

There was a point when I was very unsure of myself, back in the days when I identified more as a sub than as the loving Dom I am today. I had a lot of insecurity and uncertainty about my physical appearance, and this bled over into the psychological side of things as well. In The Spice of Life,  I explain in detail how I was transformed in every area, from losing weight and becoming fit to developing my sexual prowess and transitioning from into life as loving Dom. But suffice it to say, I was not always bold, brave and confident as I am now.

I laid in the tub, to truly ponder, what is it that I really want? When it was me and "her", we talked about "our" fantasies, and 3 of them come to mind.  We talked about being blindfolded and tied, tracing her body with a piece of rough cold ice, from her arms, shoulders, neck, cheeks, mouth, her luscious lips, down her chin, neck, perky small breasts, nipples, sides, legs, to finally arrive to her clit...pause, then retrace the same path of the molten water with the tip of my tongue.  We talked about me sitting a bar, gazing into the lively crowd, drinking my red wine, and her finding me, brushing up against my crotch with her mini skirt and sitting on my lap, pretending to be picking me up for a hot date.  We talked about kissing and making out for hours, just laying there in my Hoboken studio condo, watching the electricity of the Manhattan skyline all night.  But that never happened.  It's Thursday night, our date night.  She works till 9:00 pm, and I obsessively stare at my phone, hoping to hear from her.

It's 9:15 pm, I get out of the tub, dry off, and just wear my Yankees PJ bottoms.  Barefoot and shirtless, I walk to make our dinner.  Porterhouse for two, grass fed, veges, and a baked potato, always making enough for company, as I was taught.  I pour our drink, Figenza vodka and organic cranberry juice..helps take my edge off, this is how 520 should have been.  They say it's hard to wait for something that may never happen, it's so so hard when it's everything you want.  They say to turn the page and start a new chapter in your life, to move on.  I don't want to. It's all words and great advice, just no one tells you how to do it. It's ironically funny, you work hard for years, you get the game you need, the body everyone wants, and not have the desire to share it but with only one.  I forego my happiness to see hers, that's how it ended, and that's what true love it all about.

It's 9:45 pm, I set the meal.  Pour my red wine, Malbec. I sit down, and stare into the skyline, and it's a text. {V} 520 . The door bell rings, and I walk over confused, and it's her, the hazel-eyed Vixen. She's dressed in her lacy top and skirt, and in her soft sexy voice, she asks if we can talk as she slowly scratches my bare ribs with her pointy red nails.  A sweat and shake earthquakes down and inside my body, and I calmly invite her in.  Over dinner, she tells me again how things are improved and better for her, and I tell her my usual lies, how I've moved on emotionally, how I am happy she is happy, and how I found a way to remain "just friends" in my heart.  She knows, but she also knows I won't admit it.  She excuses herself to go to my bathroom.  I'm trembling, and it seems like slow motion as she walks back to the table.  She reaches over and hands me her panties, and tells me tonight, we will be more than "just friends".

It's 2:00 am, and I suddenly wake up in my tub again, confused.  Body pruned, it was no dinner, no text, it was just a dream, another wasted night I could have went out but just consumed it with thoughts of her.


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AUTHOR NAME  Jake Furie Lapin -- My Blogs

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BOOK "THE SPICE OF LIFE"

18 comments:

  1. To feel restless. To want someone who's out of reach.  To want to touch him or her for real. To want to play out  your fantasies for real . Is really just a dream? Time will tell.

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  2. She haunts his thoughts. Will he ever truly get over her? My heart breaks for Jake as he knows what he wants but can't have it, I can relate. This book is going to be an emotional roller coaster I can tell.

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  3. No one ever thinks the man gets his heart broken as easy as women do. But Jake truly had his heart broken and I believe still is in love with her or the thought of her. But is it her or the fantasy of finding that one like her I guess will be Jake's turmoil. Either way I hope he finds what he is looking for and I for one feel this book is going to fill me with desire and bring me to tears. Yes an emotional roller coaster.

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  5. First, I wanna give Jake a huge hug right now. Its so easy to forget that men can have the same insecurities as us. (women) Even with all the confidence and dominance that Jake has now, once in awhile some of the old insecurities show.
    I'm loving getting to know Jake a little more with each blog.

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  6. It's taken me a while to comment because every time I read or think about what I want to say all I want to do is cry. Most women would beg to have a man love her the way Jake loves this women. It so sad to know that she doesn't return his feelings. You always expectwomen to bbe at home wanting and wishing but seeing a men going through it makes it feel so much worse. I love that Jake has this side to him. He is vulnerable and hurt. Reading the books is going to be an emotional roller coaster. I look forward to it all the time. I really hope Jake can move on and believe me I know it is easier said than done but he deserves happiness just as much as everyone else. Now I must go wipe away the tears that are filling my eyes. ♥Jake!!!!

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  7. Reading this had me in tears. My heart goes out to him and I too, want to give him a hug. It's never easy to get over someone you really cared for and it hurts even more when they don't return the same feelings. It's wanting someone you can't have and a very painful to experience as we see with how Jake is dealing with it. It takes time to get over someone and it's never easy because you're more vunearable and afraid of getting hurt again. We get to see another side of Jake that makes us love him even more. I can't wait to read the book!! I'll probably need tissues at one point when reading it. Thank you so much for sharing this. I know it must've been emotionally hard for you to write it. xo

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  8. True love is an equal partnership where two whole individuals have a mutually agreed upon approach to the relationship. However most of us have experienced the pain of an unbalanced relationship. Emotional pain is a common human experience, but each of us arrive at it in different ways and respond to it differently. I truly appreciate the brave excavation of Jake's heartache so that others may learn from theirs and perhaps move on. I look forward to learning more about Jake's journey and also myself.

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  9. This is a side to a man that exudes confidence yet still has the vulnerability of us all, thank you for sharing this with us

    Gemma

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  10. Whether this woman is true or not I could feel the emotion in your words. You convey what happens to everyone in situations like this. The devastation and angst, the longing and depression. To feel warmth and security in their arms. Having them wrapped around you again, or even the first time. That sensation of having someone feel as you do, to enjoy the same things and explore what would be extraordinary.
    Thank you Jake for showing this side. I knew from the beginning I would love your words.
    And, I really do.

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  11. Nice knowing some men can be stuck on someone as much as us women. Although thinking that going out would have made a difference doesn't work. That is just a band-aid covering the wound. Healing takes time.

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  12. Boy do I relate to this one. Always wanting him to be there, to touch you. To kiss you. Sometimes the longing can be too much to where it seems real. This one happens to be my favorite.

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  13. Boy do I relate to this one. Always wanting him there. To touch you. To kiss you. Sometimes the longing can be to much to where it seems real. This one happens to be my favorite.

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  14. Everyone meets someone in life that they can't stop thinking about..you eat, sleep and breath them....knowing that they are out of your reach...you think you can't survive but in the end, the never having them, makes you into a stronger person.

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  15. I think we all have that someone we want and need to our very soul. That one person we dream about and would give up every thing for. To open yourself and tell others is very hard to do. Thank you.

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  16. Thank you for sharing your story. it is rare for a man to show his vulnerably. Currently there is someone my soul desires but we will never get together. They are afraid to let go of their past. So I will always be wanting....

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  17. I feel for Jake as it seems that men are unable to show their feelings outwardly possibly due to gender stereotyping. A woman is allowed to cry and wail whereas a guy is told to man up. The story makes you want to give Jake a hug and tell him it will be ok

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  18. You have no idea How badly I want to hug you right now, a man That can share his feelings like this is rare and I like it.
    This is again very beatiful and emotional.
    I can relate to this story aswel i'm afraid, everything Will work out and you Will find what you are looking for i'm sure of That. You are amazing

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